We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
