i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
