i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
