using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
