She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
