how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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