morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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