I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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