I like my sex mixed with concussions.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I can't put those talents on a resume
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
