are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
