i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just had sex on a roof
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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