If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
