Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
