Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
