When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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