I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
