Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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