would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
