You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
