The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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