what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
