Dual....:-)
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
She just used a chaser for red wine.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
