You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
