He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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