I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
