my sisters under your porch take her home
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Oh god it's open bar.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
