Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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