The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
