I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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