He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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