I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
