Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize