So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
