i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize