so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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