i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
and i looked up. we had an audience...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
