Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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