When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
