Screwed.edu
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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