bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
