I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
