people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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