I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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