Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I got her a Nickelback box set.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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