Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
