No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
