too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
