He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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