ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
