i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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