I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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