hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
