Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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