Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
