Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
