I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
