It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I need water and some morals
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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