right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
