found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Randomize