We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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