The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
