Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
