i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
